Better That Way

Recently.

Recently, I've felt weird. I have no idea where I stand in life, and I've completely lost all sense of direction. I still know what I want in life, but the most important things to me are the ones I'm confused about. Which is to say, my friends.

I still know who my friends are, and for that I am grateful. I suppose that the thing I'm lost is who is more important to me and which so-called 'friends' I can do without. I have some people that are acting like my best buddies and are really bad influences. I know that but I can't decide whether or not I should ditch them. They're pretty nice people and influence those that don't make their mind up and are easily led. Thankfully, I'm a strong-minded person and I can say to the things that I know perfectly well that I shouldn't do. So...should I keep them or leave them? I've talked to them in the past, and they said that they wouldn't change, no matter what. So....I'm currently confused. Do I really need them in my life?

To those that I love and cherish close, I still love them to bits, but I've been feeling slightly detached and distant with them. They have honestly tried, and I can see that looking back, but I simply don't feel anything. At all. I know that I'm being a horribly ungrateful git, but I just don't feel like being all buddy buddy with everybody.

And then, I've failed at some things that I'd rather not talk about. This started about foru months ago and, without three of my friends, I would have fallen into pieces. They were there for me all the time, no matter what. They were there to let me make their tops wet, no matter how much they complained about it later, I stayed up late on the phone being comforted by them and I've grown much closer to them in these few months than I ever have.
I would just like to thank God that I was blessed with such amazing people as my closest friends.

posted by Rainbow @ 17:21